Careful what you wish for

Nate is going to go to the gym with me tomorrow, and that’s exciting.

For years I’ve been trying to get him to go with me, but he’s shown zero interest. And it’s not the exercising indoors thing that bothers him, I think it’s more the formal exercise time that is the issue. He likes to go on hikes and bike rides and be outdoors — but the only shoes he liked to wear were his combat boots, so he didn’t even have a pair of sneakers to go on a run with me around the neighborhood. I don’t mind being active, but I don’t like bugs. Just about the only place I like being outdoors is up at his camp (because for whatever reason, the bugs don’t recognize it as part of Maine) or around the neighborhood. So when it’s come to being active together, we’ve been at almost an impasse.

I really hope this is something that he finds that he loves doing, or at least gains an appreciation for the hard work I do. I may not be the best homemaker, but I work hard, too, dammit. Is it strange that I feel like fitness and wellness are just as important to the family dynamic as keeping the house clean? It makes sense to me — the better I feel physically, the better I feel psychologically, the less likely I am to crawl into a pit of despair (not that this is the case for everyone’s depression, but it rings true for me), the happier our family is.But last week he said he’d go to the gym with me. I must have asked a million times, always knowing the answer was going to be no, but I just liked asking anyway. And then last week he said yes, that we should buy him some shoes and whatever else he’d need to go to the gym with me. We went to Marden’s today and got him some sneakers, and went to Target for some white socks and a pair of shorts. He looks pretty good. Having never shopped for guy’s gym clothes, I’m hoping I didn’t forget anything essential.

And I do mean family, because married or not, we are a little baby family. And fragile, too, as baby families are. So I want to nurture it and take care of it. That means physically, too. It’s time we recalibrate; both of us have jobs that are mentally more than physically taxing. Then to relax, we come home and play video games or read. We need to be less sedentary. Even though he’s at a healthy weight and doesn’t have excess body fat, we both are sitters, and that’s not healthy. And if our little baby family grows someday, the work we do now will make that easier.

Maybe he won’t keep exercising, maybe he will but not at the gym. For now, I’m just going to enjoy his company the times he comes along and not take it personally on the days he doesn’t. As excited as I am that we might have a hobby that we both enjoy doing, it doesn’t have to be this one. It might be one that neither of us have come up with yet, but getting in better shape will make it easier for me to try new things, so I’m still excited.

I know yesterday I said tomorrow, as in today, that I’d restart going to the gym, but we’re going to start together on Monday, and it’s going to be great.